Found this amusing little snippet today. As funny as it is that Clarkson got exactly what he asked for, he at least had the decency to a) put his money (quite literally) where his mouth was in the first place, which is more than you’ll see any government minister doing, and b) admit he was wrong.

What worries me though is the nonsense the bank told him…

“The bank cannot find out who did this because of the Data Protection Act…

Translation – Actually there’s a few possibles:

1) “We really can’t be bothered to expend resources helping you, because that leaves less money for our shareholders.”

2) “Our super-duper secure network (by government standards anyway – we send our discs by carrier pigeon!) got hacked, and the hacker managed to erase all trace of him/herself. In fact we think you’re lying to us and you actually made that Direct Debit yourself.”

3) “The malpractictioner was one of our own employees working in some country we contractually promised we wouldn’t send your details and we don’t really want to publicise the fact that we follow the rules only when it suits”

4) “You’re an idiot and you deserve everything you get, you treekiller!”

and then there’s…

and they cannot stop it from happening again.”

Which should be rendered as:

1) “Why should we give you a new account number when you obviously can’t be trusted with the one you have?”

2) “We have no interest in actually taking any helpful measures to protect our customers money/info in any way, shape or form, only an interest in the appearance of such. Our admin password is ‘password’, but there’s no way you’ll ever guess it!”

3) “The malpractitioner was ME! Ha ha ha ha haaaaa! I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything!”

4) “You’re an idiot and you deserve everything you get, you treekiller!”

So yeah….I’m not feeling cynical this year at all….

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