One of my dad’s childhood friends, along with her husband, has come to visit from Dubai and is staying at my house for the next few days. They’ve been here a total of 3 hours, and I already want to kill the husband.
Dad’s been rabbitting on about how he plays guitar so we’ll enjoy playing together. I knew full well that’ll never happen. We’d play very different styles and not really appreciate each other’s (it turns out he’s into country/rockabilly – no surprises, but that’s fine, it’s his life). But then he started lecturing me on note theory and double-stopping (this is after being told that I learned classical instruments as a child and therefore actually know something about music). I put up with that though, for the sake of international relations. The icing on the cake though was the following exchange:
Him: So play me a full song.
My dad: <Chuckles> He doesn’t know any! [I’m not entirely sure what that was for, but anyway]
Me: <frantically thinking of something to play> erm…erm…okay
The first thing that popped into my head was Stone by Unbelievable Truth, cause it’s nice and simple, but I realise it’s not the most attention-grabbing song ever. That does not excuse what happens next however. I’ve barely started (about 10-15 seconds in), when all of a sudden he asks my dad about the how the heating is controlled, and then they both get up and examine the thermostat!
They don’t even want to alter it or anything. Just to explain how it works….
I knew there was a reason I didn’t like performing….