Commenter Derek R mentions this interesting piece and this caught my eye:
There’s a saying that you should never ask anyone why they love you. [This is news to me – where do they say this nugget of wisdom?] This is true — don’t do it. You shouldn’t be rationalizing or analyzing that feeling because the more you do, the more it fades.
In general, I would agree with this. Very often love is quite literally irrational, and I often think maybe it’s meant to be so, in order to remind us that the truly important things are felt rather than thought.
And yet there was this one time when I loved and knew why. And even though I can honestly say I’m glad she found what she was looking for, it’s remembering the why that stops it truly fading.
Red, in The Shawshank Redemption, says it much better than I ever could:
I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone.
I guess I just miss my friend.